Hi guys! The wife won't leave me alone because she seems to think people actually read these pages so I gotta throw some stuff out about me. So if part of this seems like rambling keep in mind I've only slept for a few hours and I think I'm gettin a cold. Needless to say I'm a bit lucid at the moment.
Well for starters I was born dead back in 1971 in a small town so my life got off with a bang right outta the gate. Lucky or cursed because I'm still drawin' air? Eh, hard to say some days. I've lived in small towns most of my life and still do, although they call it a city. Grew up in a farming community and worked as a slave for my dad for years. My brother still does and he's drinking himself to death as the end result of a dismal life. He had the misfortune of being born first so he is of course dad's favorite. I'm being candid and honest here so this may get a bit tight at times, consider yourself warned.
My early years were rocky to say the least, and generally was the result of days spent sayin' yes sir and bending my back to whatever task was at hand. Am I bitter because of my childhood? Sometimes, yeah a little. Don't get me wrong I don't hate my parents or feel like they owe me for anything. But they do have issues with the way I live and don't really understand me, then again they never did so it puts a nice balance on things. To give an example I work weekends at my plant and on the fourth of July they call me up to see if I'll go cut down some trees for 'em. This also happens to be the anniversary of when the wife's dad died, so she has a problem with me doing anything like that on the fourth anyway. On top of everything else I was about half sick from the heat and was planning on spending the day with my family at home. When I refused, well then I was a lazy no good b******. That's just good old dad, if you're not doing what he says then you're not good enough to earn his respect. Granted the strokes he's suffered and such have made him a bit more mean, but he's always been a d*** about stuff.
As you can imagine I didn't really get to be a kid for long, but onward to my akward teenage years. I never really had that many girlfriends, I wasn't a jock or popular and I wasn't the silent creepy kid either. I was average with a very good imagination. Once again dear old dad to the rescue and I'm sure if he ever read this he wouldn't get any of it. I wasn't allowed to join the scouts or play football or anything that woulda made life a little more fun. I guess he was worried I'd get an independant streak and he wanted to supress it for as long as he could. My mom was always trying to help me out but now she has changed as well.
Anyway onward to early adulthood, I moved out when I was 18 and haven't looked back. The day I left my dad threatened to beat me to death and send my soul to hell where it belonged. In fact he socked me a couple of pretty good ones in the jaw, but I kept my mouth shut and truged on. Ironically enough that is one thing he did teach me, violence really doesn't solve anything. We still talk occasionally but to be honest I wouldn't care if he didn't speak to me for the next twenty years. I got married for the first time at age 20 and man was that a mistake. The woman I married was hung up on doing everything for her mom and dad, and while I can understand certain things, the problems we had far outweighed the good times in the end. We were married for 8 long years and that was a really bad time for me.
Like my childhood I really don't have any good memories about much of my younger life. Sure there were days that the sunlight and nature offered a wishful smile here and there, and I have always taken beauty as it was meant. I'm sure some would argue that the things I went through made me a better man. My reply would be if you haven't walked a mile in my shoes don't judge me. I have ever had the soul of an artist, well at least with words. I always thought I would be a writer or poet someday, but I ended up working at a deadend job in a wire factory for the last 13 years.
Well that's about it for me. If you wish to know anything else, e-mail and I'll respond on here when I get time.
This was last updated in 2006 - hope to get an update of more recent events soon.